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User blog:The Nameless Text/Chucamanga.
That's right, since you guys obviously have no idea what humor is, I will make humor! Also, you guys don't keep a clean wiki. I just stepped on some sort of what, is that a rotten bannana peel?... AAAAANYWAYS. To keep things active and atractive, boom, comedy. There was a boy who was a child who sat upon a tree. That tree's name was Chucamanga. The boy's name was Manchild. Because he wasn't a child of woman, for he was too man to take such a title. Which is funny, because he's a boy. LAUGH. Chucamanga was about 123456789 years old. Yes, I just used all the numbers in order. What, you want him older? Fine, he's 987654321. Yes, again, I used the keyboard... OK, what's his age matter, anyways? He's just an old tree. What sort of tree lives so long, might you ask?... No? You aren't going to ask? Well, I'll tell you anyways. He was a Awe-Somur-Snazzleberry Tree. This means he grew Snazzleberries, which is funny, because Snazzleberries are the only berries to grow on a Awe-Somur-Snazzleberry Tree. LAUGH. Chucamanga was an old tree who liked Manchild, the boy who sat on him. Sounds strange, but I guess when you're old you like weird stuff, like fuzzy mittens and pink rabbit suits. Don't even ask how I know these things. But Chucamanga was happy that the boy always sat on him, and ate his Snazzleberries from his Awe-Somur-Snazzleberry Tree branches. Manchild loved those Snazzleberries, though. Soon he got fat. LAUGH. So, from Snazzleberries the boy Manchild grew fat. Like, literally, right then and there a noticable and visual change of skinny to fat occured. Quite disturbing, I would spare you of that image... Again, don't ask. After that, the boy Manchild fell off of Chucamanga, and due to his... "Overweight" self (Gotta be politcally correct, y'know, even though I'm not going to go back and edit out all the "fat"s) could no longer climb onto Chucamanga's branches. LAUGH. And then Chucamanga said... Heck, who am I kidding, everyone knows that Awe-Somur-Snazzleberry Trees don't talk. In fact, this whole plot line is really irrelevant to the story. Scrap it. Let's just say somehow Manchild stopped being fat (screw political correctness, I don't even) and then stopped being a boy and became a man. One day, Manchild the now-man said to the tree "You know something, Chucamanga? I'm a man now, and men chop down trees to prove their manliness, so I need to find a tree to cut down." Of course, I seem to have forgotten to include the fact that they live in the city, and Chucamanga is the only tree within days of driving or flying or whatever. LAUGH. OK, I lied for humor, everyone knows Awe-Somur-Snazzleberry Trees talk! Don't tell me that wasn't funny because it was different then reality. So, Chucamanga said, "Manchild, you know I raised you with my Snazzleberries all these years, and that I cared and nurtured you all this time in your development in puberty... I hated those puberty years with your cracking voice... Well, I mean, you surely know that I know that you know you wouldn't chop me down, am I right?" LAUGH. "Of course!" Said Manchild, with fingers crossed behind his back. But Chucamanga saw this, because, everyone knows that Awe-Somur-Snazzleberry Trees see all, and Chucamanga, with heavy heart, had to devise a quick plan. An awful, evil plan. LAUGH MANIACALLY. So, one day, as Chucamanga saw the boy he raised into a man with his Snazzleberries with an axe in his hand, he said, "Manchild, since you are going to kill me and use my wood to fire your hearth for like, what, five weeks?... Anyways, may you at least eat once more of my Snazzleberries." So Manchild did so, and then started whacking Chucamanga with his axe. However, before getting to far into his swings, he stopped, dropped the axe, and started weeping. LAUGH. "Chucamanga... I know you are my only friend in this world... I can't kill you!" Manchild cried. LAUGH. "Oh, great! Well, sucks to be you, then. I poisoned those Snazzleberries, I totally have what it takes to kill you!" Chucamanga then laughed heartily as he watched Manchild write away, flesh melting off in a bloody and gory manner, which I could edit in later if you'd like. Anyways, Manchild soon turned into a skeleton, and then to dust, and his blood was used as fertilizer for Chucamanga. STOP LAUGHING, THIS IS THE EMOTIONAL SCENE. And then Chucamanga stopped talking, as we all know that Awe-Somur-Snazzleberry Trees don't talk to the air. And they all lived happily ever after. LAUGH. Well, wasn't that a great comedy? So filled with humor and laughs, while there might be a tear-jerker or two, but in the end, the hero triumphs, overcoming the antagonist. I mean, look at all the themes in the story! Look at the plot twist! Look at the climax, built up in all it's glory by the plot! Look at the perfect pacing, the proper grammar, the lack of political correctness! Surely, this is the comedy above comedies, the prime art form of the essence of "comedy" all in one obscure page on the internet! It is truly a masterpiece. Comment and give kudos when you want more. For now... Read Chucamanga over and over again, and comment on what themes and other things you can find in this piece of literature, this grand masterpiece. Category:Blog posts